Becoming

 Winter is a time for deep reflection and reckoning. This season has been a difficult one with a lot to sort through. Since the coming north, I realize that I’m still in the process of moving. Sorting, packing, and letting go, mentally this time. The distance has allowed for new insight into events of the past and in decisions about how things should be now, moving forward.

Work in progress - handwoven fabric, vintage linens and endless amounts of scraps.

I’ve had moments sitting in the dark not understanding which way to go. It is frustrating on many levels, but I must remember that it is often like this in the middle. Gradually, we can have a glimpse of the direction things are going. Becoming is a slow process and I can feel the pace of life starting to quake. In the studio I have been following an instinct to find ways to dealing with scraps, found vintage textiles and past pieces that never worked. I have been experimenting with them and have some works in progress. On my loom I’m still working with rag rug structure as a launching point for new work. I’ve been thinking a lot about the saying “sweep it under the rug.” As I work to uncover my family story, I’ve been pulling up the rugs and look for what was hidden.

Rag rug coming off the loom. The color mixing on this one surprised me. I want to make more.

This exploration on the loom seems to have legs. I keep having questions to answer, ideas to try out. I love the color potential of rugs with painted warps and my own hand dyed fabric. There are so many ways to bring color and texture to life. And there are so many surprises.

scraps get cut and joined together for rag rug weaving.

This year one of my overarching goals is to search out new communities to join. I’ve begun to wonder if I’ll seek out a studio space outside of my home to work in and to be closer to other artists. I’m looking for opportunities to join my passion for the outdoors, art and education.

One of the biggest surprises from the move is how much I have changed. This place, this Minnesota has worked some magic on me. I feel myself becoming more myself here. My attunement of place has heightened and I’m finding myself more curious. There is an audible psychic sigh of relief in our part of Minnesota. On Wednesday the snow began to fly in the afternoon and continued into the evening quite heavily. We woke up the next day to about six inches of snow. This is our first significant snow of the season. We had a seasonal total of four inches of snow until the other day (with over ninety inches last winter). The anxiety of Minnesotans was palpable. Though we may complain about the snow, it is part of what it means to be part of this place.

The sun after the snow. The light and shadows are so beautiful.

Going Slower and Sharing Joy

Happy New Year!

I had a nice two week break over the holidays. I did a lot of cooking, reading, watching programs and reflecting on my studio practice. I’ve been feeling burned out and a little out of focus. During our break, I looked at a list that I had made in a sketchbook of things that I wanted to do. I picked one and started to work. For years I’ve added weave with my handspun to this list. I pulled out a wheel and set to work spinning up some wool to use with some tapestry experiments that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. It seems my inclination is to slow my process down even more and to spend even more time engaged with the work and idea. Since we are still hip deep in the pandemic, it isn’t like I don’t have the time to go deeper. I need to finish up some bobbins of a wool, silk and mohair blend that has been lingering a long time. I’m working at plying them up and clearing some bobbins for tapestry spinning.

One of the few things I miss during the pandemic is traveling and going to hear live music. I’m not the only one as many musicians turned to various platforms to share livestreams performances.

 Béla Fleck and Abigail Washburn began to host Banjo House Lockdowns in March on Facebook and continued to present a live performance each Friday. The performances were low tech, intimate, charming, and often featured their two children. My family would wrap up work, make dinner and then sit down in front of the TV to attend the concert. The episodes are now available on Béla’s Youtube channel in a Banjo House Lockdown playlist

I highly recommend it. We had the pleasure to see Béla and Abigail live in 2017. It remains one of my favorite concerts of all time.

Before the Thanksgiving holiday, I wondered to my husband why he wasn’t playing music more. Sometimes you get busy and the thing you love seems to be the first thing to go in the race to keep up with the grind. He began to play more after that, and it has brought us both a lot of pleasure. We spend some time each day watching so music related content on Youtube. We stumbled into guitarist Rhett Shull’s channel

 and have been enjoying his Backstage Live concerts. There are five past livestreams available currently and the next on is scheduled January 30th. We watched our first one in November and it honestly felt like we had gone out for live music. The band does covers, original music, jams with guest performers and it is just what I needed. I hope when the pandemic ends, we can see the band live.

 Another Youtube channel recommendation is Baumgartner Restoration. Julian Baumgartner is a fine art restore based in Chicago. He shares his studio and his work through videos on Youtube. You can watch to see paintings get brough back to life under Julian’s careful hands and it is a bit of magic. The highlight for me – when he makes his custom swabs out of sticks and cotton and removes old discolored varnish and the painting’s true colors are first revealed. It is oddly soothing. There is something about watching someone highly skilled in their craft that just makes my heart happy. The process of conservation and restoration is a behind the scenes activity. Julian shows just how much labor and training go into making it happen successfully. Don’t miss his studio tour that was just released in early December. I love seeing an organized workspace!

Knowing Where to Look

Since blogging a few months ago about reclaiming weaving, I’ve been thinking about where to find my weaving impulses. I’ve tried a few things lately that interested me at the beginning, but then my interest wandered. I’ve flipped through books, Instagram feeds – nothing filled me with fire.

Then I happened upon an Instagram post featuring the tapestry of Finnish artist Soile Hovila and I felt an excitement build. Her work isn’t the traditional tapestry that I was taught with the warp threads covered by weft. Her warp threads were exposed, and it felt transgressive! Why? We get these rules set down by some mysterious “they.” Then an artist challenges them quietly and reminds us that rules are a temporary thing and always subject to change. Hovila’s work shows how she sees into the world with washes of color and light. The movement and quiet are combined skillfully and transport the viewer into her world and the way she sees.

Her act of exposing warp and weft supports the visual imagery of her work and the importance of it being a textile. There is nothing hidden. It isn’t a textile trying to be anything but itself. The exposed warp isn’t distracting or lack of skill on her part, but a carefully considered decision.

If I had made it to Finland in the spring, I would have seen her work on exhibition at The Craft Museum of Finland. That smarts a little, but for now I’ll have to view her work online. She has a lovely Instagram feed and shares her progress with the tapestry on her loom currently.

Where do you find your inspiration, where do you find your way through times when you feel stuck? How do you ask for help when you feel lost? Sometimes I think that the harder I chase my desire to find my place back at the loom, the more elusive it will become.

So how to solve this little problem? I work, I pay attention when something inside me perks up, surround myself other artists working away in their studios (even only if virtually for now), I look into the world, I write, I try to explore and push myself a little more each day. I know I will find it, I trust that, but it isn’t always on my desired timeline. I have plenty to work on, my task list grows each week, so I show up each day willing to get to work.

I have taken a few things off the loom recently. I did a sample with torn strips of map printed silk organza with some left over natural linen from my first transparency sample. I was curious how the silk “rags’ would look and I’m intrigued by the result. I have a book about Finnish American Rag Rugs to dig into for research and maybe that will be informative for where to go with this sample.

“rag” sample with printed silk organza

“rag” sample with printed silk organza - in window for light to pass through

Another piece off the loom is this small 7” x 7” transparency sample. The base cloth is 12/1 linen. I was cautioned that I might need to be gentle with it and prep it with some sizing. Of course, that means I dyed some and threw it on the loom without any sort of fuss. I wanted to see how much harassment it would take. It held up well and the loom waste looked a little fuzzy toward the end from friction. I’m happy with the fabric it made, and I’m interested in the imagery. I’m interested in the areas of open warp and weft. How that might impact the visual message of the piece? I have no idea where this is going, but I’m curious enough to keep working to see if a path emerges. I love the idea of using a traditional Finnish way of weaving and seeing if it has a place in my work. plan to do some embroidery on the cloth to push it a little more.

transparency woven sample