Molly Elkind kindly responded on Instagram about my last blog post. She was reminded of some things she learned in school and she did a follow up post that has got me thinking. I could do a post about why not go to graduate school….
Congratulations on Becoming a Cougar! was boldly printed on my acceptance letter to school. I reluctantly showed the letter to my husband. He of course found it hysterical and has delighted in reminding me many times how I’m twice the age of the students. As a woman “of a certain age,” a cougar has a very different meaning other than a college mascot.
In my last blog, I surprised myself on all the high points about going to graduate school. From my own experience as well as from talking to other MFAs it is not uncommon to feel ambivalent after completing school. Graduating felt a bit like stumbling off a fast-moving treadmill awkwardly at the gym. The whoosh of that express train leaving you behind was both welcome and destabilizing. There were no more huge, mandated deadlines unless I set them up. I also spent a long time catching up with life that had moved on without me. I finally saw and talked to friends, went back to meetings of the Weavers Guild of St. Louis, and made my face seen again. Most people understood why had disappeared for so long, but some friendships definitely suffered. I also had little urge to make my work for about a year after school ended. I learned other skills such as quilt construction and worked at the museum completing a large records reorganization project that I had started as a graduate assistant. This reluctance to make work hits many of us and I have seen a lot of my colleagues go through it as well. Eventually most of us circled back to working.
There was some unhealthy competition at school amongst the grads. The time clock keepers. These folks made note of when you got to the studio and when you left. They would make judgements and proudly tell you they were there for twelve hours. Or they never left. I’m not punching anyone’s time clock. This was my time, my education and none of their business. I can also assure everyone that they were not productive the twelve hours they were at school. As an older person, I have a house to manage, and a family that also needs my attention. School was a priority, but certainly not the only one. I also get tired and cannot work for hours on end anymore. I have chronic pain that I have to constantly monitor so it doesn’t get the better of me. I frequently spent a lot of time in my home studio. Working from home also meant less interruptions (i.e., can I borrow scissors, can you show me how to do this “really quick?”).
My first tiny studio space at school.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the cost of graduate school. I had a graduate stipend which required me to work for the school for ten hours a week and have my tuition waived. Stipend programs are usually competitive and generally you should apply early. Sometimes there are also grants from the school that will offset the costs. However, please note that this funding often doesn’t cover “activities” fees which are non-waivable. These fees pay for the school gym, student center and the various organized events that occur on campus. I seldom took the time to engage with them, but I paid for them anyway.
Be aware that some faculty at the school might not be on board with textiles being an art. Consider them in your selection of schools. Sometimes you will have limited contact with them, but during reviews of your work during your time in the program they may well be the people assessing your progress. “I don’t understand weaving so I can’t talk about this piece.” Having faculty feel they are unable or unwilling to discuss any artwork is ridiculous and it said a lot more about this faculty member than it did about me.
I also learned you have to find a way to push back against faculty, visiting artists, and students when it comes to critiquing work. We all have biases and sometimes they do not make for productive conversations. Determining when a conversation is not helpful takes discernment. Is it overly personal or is the overall intent to push you to make better work? There are always stories of students in tears after a critique was allowed to go sideways. Knowing how to talk to students about their work isn’t a universal skill set. Most professors/visiting artist do not have a degree in education. There are no classes to teach future professors how to be good mentors. It is learned and many do work on their pedagogical skills. They set the tone for critiques. If they have poor boundaries around this then class can get away from everyone. You do not have to stay in situations that are the result of poor boundaries. I didn’t experience abusive critiques in school. I did have one grad student talk on and on about himself in responding to my work. It got pretty comical. I finally interrupted and invited him to make his own piece, but that my work wasn’t about him. I also had a few studio visits that were not good. I thanked the person for the visit and moved the conversation onward or ended it. You do not have to let people waste your time.
Graduate school for art can have a lot of drama, so much drama. Some students seem to be walking wounded and used critiques as a therapy session. There can be a lot of issues with immaturity especially if the program mixes graduate students with undergraduates. It is no joke that there are significant developmental differences with younger students. So much angst. It made me grateful for my older friends that were/are so generous with me.
If you are a non-traditional student, you might find yourself without peers or made the den mother or dysfunctional camp counselor (as I termed it). Know when to set limits. Working from home helped a lot with this problem.
On the other hand, I loved some of the mentoring I was able to do with students. As a former teacher, I miss the contact with students and seeing them learn and grow. During my time, I taught undergrads how to use an iron, thread a needle, use a sewing machine, helped them with a loom or weaving problem and referred them to resources. Being around beginners also has a hidden benefit. They do not know “the rules” and will try things that I never would have even imagined. I frequently learned from them and made note of their discoveries.
Finding the right program/school/mentor can shape your experience in school and have an impact on your career. The ideal mentor varies depending on the person. When I looked for a mentor, I wanted someone that I would have a lot of contact with. Some schools are research focused and faculty may not have a lot of time with students. I needed (and found) someone that was able to suss out my innermost unexpressed longings and reflect them back to me. I wanted someone demanding, constantly striving to move forward in thinking and in their own making. I wanted someone who would push me, listen, and ask questions. A mentor doesn’t just help you move through graduate school, but often is part of your life afterwards. They are a resource and sometimes you can return the favor to them. The interconnectedness of the field is very helpful and unique in many ways to textiles.
This is by no means meant to be a comprehensive list. I cannot really encourage you to go or not go to graduate school. This was only my experience and I’m sure I’ve left many things out. I wish I had kept that letter proclaiming me a cougar. Maybe my husband has it somewhere?